In focus:-)

The past week has been pretty good, except for a few drawbacks, which, I have realized, are to be expected. The transplant is going well. My doctors say that I am still having issues with my prograf levels (one of my immuno-suppressants), but other than that, things are going well. I talked to my doctor about becoming a vegetarian and she gave me some wonderful advice (I think she is also a vegetarian), which is making the transition a little easier. I thought it would be harder than it is, but because I had to do so much research and label reading with my dialysis diet, I was prepared to deal with some of the obstacles that will come with vegetarianism. She also gave me some great advice about how to get the proteins that I will need since I will no longer be eating meat. I think my diet has been pretty healthy, especially with being on dialysis. I see it as an opportunity to begin cleansing myself both inside and out.



My grandmother always seems to keep me grounded and focused, even when my parents don't, and I need that. It's funny because she seems to know when I need her advice, which is uncanny to me. I have also taken up yoga again. It was a little hard to do while I was on dialysis, especially because my instructor held class on days that I had dialysis. I tried to go to class on a number of occasions, but I had to quit because I almost passed out. Now that I have put on damn near twenty pounds, I think I can handle it.



I am pretty much all set to begin the application process for attending graduate school. I am still studying for the GRE, but the MAT is a little easier because it involves words, literary figures, and the like, and I am fairly well read. I looked at the curriculum in the Spanish department for a few schools and realized that I had already read and studied in depth most of the materials in the syllabi. That made me feel more than blessed because my Spanish (and English for that matter) professors were (and are) top notch. I feel they prepared me for virtually anything from law school, to graduate school, to teaching. Whatever I could have imagined doing with my life, they prepared me for it.



I feel like I can see the rest of my life sitting at the edge of the metaphorical horizon, waiting patiently for me. From where I am standing, it still looks like it will take a while for me to reach it, but I feel that once I begin to traverse the distance, it will not be as long or as arduous as I think it will be. In the back of my mind, I feel like the worst may, in fact, be over. At the same time I really don't want to let my guard down too much in the event that something else happens. But whatever happens, I know that I can get through it. I've made it through dialysis, I've made through a transplant, I am traversing my way through the "after-transplantation" jungle. I feel like I have a strength that can carry me any and everything, and that is wonderful because there is no way that I had it while I was in law school. I don't think I would have the resolve that I have now without having gone through dialysis. I think God has us experience certain traumas in order to show us our own potential, to give us glimpses of the person that we are to become. And I must say, I kind of like what I see. I am no longer the scared, soft-spoken person that I was. I have more fight in me, more strength. And that is a great sign. So, I am preparing to take the first steps toward the life, the series of events, that patiently await me at the edge of the horizon. With that step, I can only wonder if I have adequately prepared for this particular journey...