Do I really miss him?!

I am sitting here listening to John Legend. Lord knows if I could marry that man I would! Anyway, it made me think about a person that I (for some strange reason) have been thinking about a lot! Just kind of wondering what life would be like if he were an actual part of my life. Then I begin to think harder about it and realize that it would not have worked out at all because I wasn't the person that I am now. I would have been walking around like some scared little girl, crying inside because he somehow hurt my feelings! I have no energy for that now. I have learned to voice my opinions, concerns, and dislikes. And if you can't take it or don't want to talk about it then to hell with it. I'm done! It's funny that it has taken all of this to make me put my feelings, wants, and needs before any man's! I have to make sure that I am happy before I can make him happy.

Now Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" is playing and it just makes me realize that "I can have another him in a minute!" Lol! But I don't want another him... or anyone for that matter. I am content being alone and bettering myself. I am sure that once I am content with the progress that I have made then I'll be ready to let someone else experience the "happiness."

In other news my aunt is going to get tested tomorrow morning. She was so excited to get tested. It's strange, as more get people get tested, my family is becoming more and more willing to get involved in other aspects of the transplantation process. We are setting up a blood-drive for the transplant. And we are setting up some other fundraisers so that when the transplant actually happens, I won't have any problems with paying for medications, or anything like that. Getting all of this together is like having a job (but I'm not getting paid for it!)

Other than the aforementioned lapse in judgment, life is moving on about as normally as it can for a dialysis patient. Now... if I could put this much effort into preparing for the GRE! Just thinking about that damn test makes me sweat! And I don't know why, I know I can ace the test with my eyes closed! I guess I'm just a little anxious about the prospect of going back to school. My chest is starting to ache! Can somebody give me a shot of Patron! Ahhhh!!!!!!!