validation... maybe

it's five in the morning and i have just come in from a night of club hopping and partying (please excuse the grammar, or lack thereof). i am, normally, not one to partake in clubbing... not since my college days, but today was validating for me. after spending the morning down in the dumps over the dying relationship with a friend, my sister told me that raheem devaughn would be at the sisterhood showcase, and that cheered me up considerably. we went and had a pretty good time, but instead of raheem devaughn, urban mystic performed, which was just as good! i even got an autograph (my first) and flirted a little with urban mystic himself. my sister and i were invited to join he and his friend later that evening (hence the club hopping). it was exhilerating! it gave me the boost that i needed to push myself to reach the next goal in my life and to let go. as the night wore on, i met an array of people interested in me. though i may act as if i don't need anyone in my life, i have come to realize that maybe companionship and friendships are a more integral part of my being than i have wanted to acknowledge. i do not want to say it, but these past few hours have validated my worth as a woman... my worth as a friend. i am a woman, and i need men in my life. there is no escaping that. i must, in some way accept that fact and, somehow, learn to deal with it. so, i guess all of this has substantiated the fact that i must make some changes to both myself and my ways and means of interacting with the male species. at the moment, i am also a bit delirious, so i may, in fact, change my mind once the novelty of actually being wanted, accepted, and respected by men. i pray that sleep merely solidifies what i just wrote....