Musings...

My friends are off the chain! That's all I have to say about that!

I was talking to my mom the other day and she told me to suck it up (life and the anxiety over getting a transplant), get over it and do what the hell I have to do!

I was listening to the radio the other day and a song about being in love with a stripper came on... how in the hell do you fall in love with a stripper? ... I guess strippers need love too...

Why can't you have your cake and eat it too? You're supposed to eat it! That's the purpose of cake! (I have never understood that expression!)

Why is my social worker (at my dialysis center) an idiot?

Why aren't there any black people on Nanny 911?

Why is the majority of the patients at my dialysis center mostly black?

Am I really "mean" when it comes to the opposite sex? I'm overly cautious, but I don't think I'm mean!

When will I have sex again?

Why do crazy men hit on me? Why do old men hit on me? On most days I look at least sixteen, does that mean they have pedophilic tendencies (or maybe they're just perverts) because I look young? Does that scare anyone else?!

Why do people at dialysis ask my opinion on things that I don't know about, like losing weight, going back to school after 20 years, how to talk to their wives/husbands? I have never been more that 115 pounds, I've gone to school continuously, and never been married! Go figure.

Will I do well enough on the GRE to get into Boston University or even Harvard?

Am I shooting for the moon? If I miss will I land among the stars? Isn't the moon closer to the earth than some stars? So wouldn't I have a better chance of actually hitting the moon?

Do the anecdotal stories from Sex and the City apply to black and Hispanic women? ( We do deal with a different breed of men, but then again, a man is a man!)

How many women do we know who are actually like the women from Sex and the City? Has that ruined our realistic expectations of relationships? Will the man we love fly to Paris to bring us home?

Will I ever gain enough weight to actually get my transplant?

Will I ever find "the one"? How will I know he is "the one"? And will I want to marry him?

Will I ever finish the book that I started writing? Will anyone want to read it?

Will I ever have kids of my own? Will they act like me?

Should I move to Spain after getting my MA and PhD to teach?

Will I do all of the things I dream of in life?

Where is my inner diva? Will she ever surface?

What are we doing with our lives?

How will I help the next person? Will I become an advocate for local kidney patients? Can I even see myself doing something like that? How will you pay it forward?