Something soft and gentle

I woke up the other morning, expecting the gray, dreary sharpness that had become my life. Instead of waking up to bleak and dreary grayness and sharp edges, I woke up to soft, light colors, softness and gentleness. I felt at peace with everything around me, as if all things had a purpose at this exact point in my life. I wanted to caress everything that was soft and gentle about this new life, to kiss it, sing to it, smell it, love it, savor it with every sense that I have. It is warm and creamy, and slightly sweet, this gentleness. I feel like I can taste it each morning I wake up, with each thing that I do, every step that I take. It is wonderful. It wraps me in a warmth that I have not felt for a long time. It makes me feel safe, and alive, and wanted. I want to go out and play each morning I wake up, to pick up the soft colors, revel in the sweet smell, to frolick among the vivid brightness, the creaminess; breathing in the aroma of the newness. This new life is gorgeous, beautiful and enchanting. I can't wait to continue exploring the softness and gentleness of this new life.

I have an inherent belief that people come into our lives for a reason, whether they are just passing through or whether they will have a greater impact. I am about to seriously jinx myself here, but here goes! I met a really wonderful person. I believe that he is in my life to let me know that, even though I am on dialysis and am going through many things associated with the process of getting a transplant, I am normal. I am human. He lets me know that I need love and affection just as the next person. He makes me feel normal, which I have not felt in a while. He lets me know that it is ok to shelter myself at times, but that I must, ultimately, unlock the door and let someone in. He lets me know that things will, somehow, work out, no matter what. Even though I have not known him long and do not know how long I will have the pleasure of having him in my life, he brings something to my life that is refreshing. Maybe that's all I needed, was something fresh, something that does not revolve around dialysis and kidney failure. And he is part of the reason that I woke up to that bright, fresh, softness. I must admit that I love it! Even if nothing comes of the relationship/friendship with him, I know that I will always wake up to brilliant softness and vibrant color from now on!