Birthday Fun
My birthday was Sunday, so my sister and I decided that we would have a little get together with a few friends and play games... you know... scrabble, scatergories, taboo... things like that. It sounded like a great idea to me. I love any opportunity to act like a little kid! But things took on a bit of a different twist when my sister and two of my cousins got together and decided that they wanted to go to a club after game night. I knew then that the night would be a disaster. I am not really one to go to clubs (especially ones that have an overabundance of young boys who have just gotten out of their teens and think that all women want them even though they cannot make coherent, correct sentences, no jobs, no goals in life, and think it's acceptable to take everything (financially and emotionally) from women that they are involved with (i don't consider it dating because they don't spend enough time getting to know the woman... only enough time to sleep with her). I just wanted to have fun. I even had a nice outfilt with cute (yet comfortable) shoes.
A few friends came by for game night, but my sister and cousin's started getting upset because we actaully started playing games! I thought the whole point of game night was to sit around and play games with friends and family. Needless to say, the night was not one that was for me... it turned into a night for my sister, cousins, and their friends. I decided, while playing scrabble with a good friend, that I was not going out with them But he managed to talk me into going. What did we do that for? We went downtown and it was fairly chilly out. The club they wanted to go to was charging a little more than we expected, so they decided they wanted to walk around and see what else was available. I can do that when it's warm outside, but not when it's cold. I became increasingly irritated because they did not want to go into a club that had an ecletic mix of people (black, white, hispanic, asian). They basically wanted to go to a club that played hip hop. After they said that, I decided that I (and my friend) was going to Jillian's to play games. So we ditched them. It was probably the best decision! He and I played simulation games and had a light snack... did a lot of catching up. It turned out to be a pretty cool night. After Jillian's closed we went back to my place and palyed games until four in the morning. I had a lot of fun... then again, I always have a lot of fun with him.
He is a wonderful person. We've known one another for a while. Sometimes I wonder if he is my missed opportunity. We talk about any and everything. I can be myself. He can be himself. He is nonjugdmental. And I am the same with him. He accepts my somewhat eccentric tastes in music and movies... my love of most things Spanish and Latin American (food, music, culture, etc), my love of good movies (Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck, etc), and my guilty pleasure of the new age/mystic Karate/Kung Fu movies (The House of Flying Daggers, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero). He likes my look (wild, curly, natural hair) and the fact that I really don't keep up with fashion trends (I like a classic, clean look reminiscent of the 40's with nice straight lines and vivid colors). Basically he accepts the quirky person that I am. Yes, I have a couple of male friends who are the exact same way, but they are married and I never really thought of taking it to the next level, and I haven't really thought about it with C (we'll call the other two who are married A & B). But I can't help but wonder if I will ever meet a guy who will respect and accept me in ways that A, B, & C have. Maybe I'm just a little overdramatic because I have celebrated yet another birthday and I feel like time is slipping away. Just kind of made me think about things... how they're going... where they'll end... how I'll get there.
For my actual birthday, my mom, sisters, and cousin went to play laser tag and ride go karts. It was great (as I said, I am a sucker for anything that involves me acting in a child-like manner)! I loved the wind whipping though my hair while I was riding the go karts. And laser tag was great because it was to strategic and fun. This was one of the best days I have had in a while! No worries. No thinking about dialysis. No thinking about what I could or couldn't eat. NO getting sick from the foods that I did eat (I only ate a little). No getting too tired after palying for most of the day. No sleepiness. No irritability. It was a perfect day... even though it rained.
On the way home, my mom told me that she could see the fighter in me... that I was becoming more and more of a fighter as a result of dealing with dialysis. I don't really see it. I think I am doing what it takes to survive... to keep myself as healthy as I can, to voice my concerns when things have an adverse affect on me, to get the things that I need when I need them, to deal with the stubborness and stupidity of other people, to take myself to another level when I need to. I think all of these things must be done in order to make it day by day, week by week, month by month. It's been approximately one year since I was diagnosed with kidney failure. In that year I have gone through a roller coaster ride of pain, suffering, healing, and dealing. I have also been doing things that I have always wanted to do, like writing (hence the blog) and entering writing contests. My mom and dad tell me often that this is my time to be still. And I am still. I am still here. I am still fighting. I am still learning. I am still living. I am still coping. I am still being. I am still me!
A few friends came by for game night, but my sister and cousin's started getting upset because we actaully started playing games! I thought the whole point of game night was to sit around and play games with friends and family. Needless to say, the night was not one that was for me... it turned into a night for my sister, cousins, and their friends. I decided, while playing scrabble with a good friend, that I was not going out with them But he managed to talk me into going. What did we do that for? We went downtown and it was fairly chilly out. The club they wanted to go to was charging a little more than we expected, so they decided they wanted to walk around and see what else was available. I can do that when it's warm outside, but not when it's cold. I became increasingly irritated because they did not want to go into a club that had an ecletic mix of people (black, white, hispanic, asian). They basically wanted to go to a club that played hip hop. After they said that, I decided that I (and my friend) was going to Jillian's to play games. So we ditched them. It was probably the best decision! He and I played simulation games and had a light snack... did a lot of catching up. It turned out to be a pretty cool night. After Jillian's closed we went back to my place and palyed games until four in the morning. I had a lot of fun... then again, I always have a lot of fun with him.
He is a wonderful person. We've known one another for a while. Sometimes I wonder if he is my missed opportunity. We talk about any and everything. I can be myself. He can be himself. He is nonjugdmental. And I am the same with him. He accepts my somewhat eccentric tastes in music and movies... my love of most things Spanish and Latin American (food, music, culture, etc), my love of good movies (Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck, etc), and my guilty pleasure of the new age/mystic Karate/Kung Fu movies (The House of Flying Daggers, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero). He likes my look (wild, curly, natural hair) and the fact that I really don't keep up with fashion trends (I like a classic, clean look reminiscent of the 40's with nice straight lines and vivid colors). Basically he accepts the quirky person that I am. Yes, I have a couple of male friends who are the exact same way, but they are married and I never really thought of taking it to the next level, and I haven't really thought about it with C (we'll call the other two who are married A & B). But I can't help but wonder if I will ever meet a guy who will respect and accept me in ways that A, B, & C have. Maybe I'm just a little overdramatic because I have celebrated yet another birthday and I feel like time is slipping away. Just kind of made me think about things... how they're going... where they'll end... how I'll get there.
For my actual birthday, my mom, sisters, and cousin went to play laser tag and ride go karts. It was great (as I said, I am a sucker for anything that involves me acting in a child-like manner)! I loved the wind whipping though my hair while I was riding the go karts. And laser tag was great because it was to strategic and fun. This was one of the best days I have had in a while! No worries. No thinking about dialysis. No thinking about what I could or couldn't eat. NO getting sick from the foods that I did eat (I only ate a little). No getting too tired after palying for most of the day. No sleepiness. No irritability. It was a perfect day... even though it rained.
On the way home, my mom told me that she could see the fighter in me... that I was becoming more and more of a fighter as a result of dealing with dialysis. I don't really see it. I think I am doing what it takes to survive... to keep myself as healthy as I can, to voice my concerns when things have an adverse affect on me, to get the things that I need when I need them, to deal with the stubborness and stupidity of other people, to take myself to another level when I need to. I think all of these things must be done in order to make it day by day, week by week, month by month. It's been approximately one year since I was diagnosed with kidney failure. In that year I have gone through a roller coaster ride of pain, suffering, healing, and dealing. I have also been doing things that I have always wanted to do, like writing (hence the blog) and entering writing contests. My mom and dad tell me often that this is my time to be still. And I am still. I am still here. I am still fighting. I am still learning. I am still living. I am still coping. I am still being. I am still me!
posted by E. Brown @ 4:14 PM
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