I don't understand some people!
I am trying to find a job, which, as we all knew, is not going well at all! But that's neither here nor there. I have been out of the job market for a good minute, so the hardships are to be expected.
Anyway, why do people that I don't want to have anything to do with believe that, for some insane reason, that I really want to be their friend? Andrew, the annoying dialysis technician, really thinks that I want to be "friends" with him... why? I rarely say two words to him and he has the nerve to tell me that I hurt his feelings because I refused to give him my phone number and let him call me! He is married with 6 kids! Why would I want to talk to him? What could we possibly talk about? He got my phone number by pretending that he wanted to use my camera phone and then called his own phone from mine. That pissed me off and I told him not to call me. He did it anyway. I talked to him once and told him not to call me anymore. You'd think the dumbass would understand! But no, he tried to do the same thing the other day, and had the nerve to get pissed off at me when I told him to use the center's phone or one of his coworkers! When I completed dialysis he told me that he was really hurt that I didn't want to "be his friend." I told him to go tell his wife. He just looked at me. I have been really patient up until this point, but I swear he if says anything else to me, I am going to go South Memphis on his ass. I have never had to deal with someone like this in my life! Normally when I don't want to befriend someone, they call me a bitch and get over it! We all move on, and if at some point down the road things have changed, then we'll naturally ease into a friendship. Friendships should not and cannot be forced! But people just do not understand that concept!
There is also female technician at the center who tries to get my advice on losing weight! Do I look like I have ever had any experience losing weight?! I don't know, hell, I don't care, stop talking to me! I have no idea why people feel a need to attach themselves to me! If I wanted to know you, I would have let you know a long time ago! If you give me your phone number and I don't call you, that should let you know something. You'd think people would at least get that. And people wonder why I have a select few friends. I get tired of dealing with people. People at dialysis tell me their problems as if we have known one another for three or four years... I don't want to hear that! I have my own problems!
I feel that some of the technicians honestly believe that I need a friend because of everything that I am going through. Yes, being on dialysis is a completely life changing event. Yes, at times I do have a hard time dealing with it. Yes, I get angry, frustrated, sad and go through an entire range of other emotions. No, that does not mean that I want to be your friend and sit around the campfire and tell you my sob story. I don't understand why they make such a big deal out of it! Just because my arm looks like a junkie's from all of the needle sticks for treatments, I have a strict diet, my weight fluctuates, and I get sick easily doesn't mean that I am not coping in my own way. I have all of the people that I want around me. My family and closest friends have been with me from the beginning. So, have some of the nurses and technicians. But I go to my center for one reason, to get my treatments and that's it. I don't want to sit around and listen to whatever problems a tech has. I want to go, have the life, literally, drained out of me over a three hour period and I want to go home. It would be alright if all of the techs were like the nurses and were cordial. I like asking people about their mornings, and getting a somewhat personal, yet simple answer. Then that person commences to do his/her job. I don't want to know about anything other than what I just asked that person. If I wanted to know about someone's familial or personal lives, then I would flat out ask. Please don't volunteer information just because I have to sit in a 50 degree room with you for three hours! I have my own personal life to figure out. I have to study for the GRE. I have to decide which graduate school I want to go to, which PhD program I have the best chance of getting into. I have to worry about when I will be able to get a kidney transplant and whether or not the treatments for my liver will go well! I don't want to be forced to hear about a series of problems that has nothing to do with me! I am not your friend, I am only your patient, and our relationship should be handled as such! But, I must also add that I am actually tutoring one technician and another technician's son, and I have created professional (and somewhat personal) relationships with them. Then again, those relationships are based on money also! I do, however, like them, and I enjoy talking to them about anecdotal stories that occurred to us on days that we had sessions. The conversations rarely revolve around our personal lives, only the part of our lives that intersect. And I like that. I am an extremely private person (on the verge of being anti-social) and I don't like being forced into certain conversations. I really dislike being forced to deal with stupid people. I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and inane conversations.
Maybe all of this is just a lesson telling me that I have a lot more to learn about dealing with people. I am a volunteer with CASA here, and I have to deal with a wide variety of personalities, so maybe all of this is just to let me know that I do not have a propensity for dealing with certain characteristics... I don't really know at this point. But I am waiting to see what this lesson is!
Anyway, why do people that I don't want to have anything to do with believe that, for some insane reason, that I really want to be their friend? Andrew, the annoying dialysis technician, really thinks that I want to be "friends" with him... why? I rarely say two words to him and he has the nerve to tell me that I hurt his feelings because I refused to give him my phone number and let him call me! He is married with 6 kids! Why would I want to talk to him? What could we possibly talk about? He got my phone number by pretending that he wanted to use my camera phone and then called his own phone from mine. That pissed me off and I told him not to call me. He did it anyway. I talked to him once and told him not to call me anymore. You'd think the dumbass would understand! But no, he tried to do the same thing the other day, and had the nerve to get pissed off at me when I told him to use the center's phone or one of his coworkers! When I completed dialysis he told me that he was really hurt that I didn't want to "be his friend." I told him to go tell his wife. He just looked at me. I have been really patient up until this point, but I swear he if says anything else to me, I am going to go South Memphis on his ass. I have never had to deal with someone like this in my life! Normally when I don't want to befriend someone, they call me a bitch and get over it! We all move on, and if at some point down the road things have changed, then we'll naturally ease into a friendship. Friendships should not and cannot be forced! But people just do not understand that concept!
There is also female technician at the center who tries to get my advice on losing weight! Do I look like I have ever had any experience losing weight?! I don't know, hell, I don't care, stop talking to me! I have no idea why people feel a need to attach themselves to me! If I wanted to know you, I would have let you know a long time ago! If you give me your phone number and I don't call you, that should let you know something. You'd think people would at least get that. And people wonder why I have a select few friends. I get tired of dealing with people. People at dialysis tell me their problems as if we have known one another for three or four years... I don't want to hear that! I have my own problems!
I feel that some of the technicians honestly believe that I need a friend because of everything that I am going through. Yes, being on dialysis is a completely life changing event. Yes, at times I do have a hard time dealing with it. Yes, I get angry, frustrated, sad and go through an entire range of other emotions. No, that does not mean that I want to be your friend and sit around the campfire and tell you my sob story. I don't understand why they make such a big deal out of it! Just because my arm looks like a junkie's from all of the needle sticks for treatments, I have a strict diet, my weight fluctuates, and I get sick easily doesn't mean that I am not coping in my own way. I have all of the people that I want around me. My family and closest friends have been with me from the beginning. So, have some of the nurses and technicians. But I go to my center for one reason, to get my treatments and that's it. I don't want to sit around and listen to whatever problems a tech has. I want to go, have the life, literally, drained out of me over a three hour period and I want to go home. It would be alright if all of the techs were like the nurses and were cordial. I like asking people about their mornings, and getting a somewhat personal, yet simple answer. Then that person commences to do his/her job. I don't want to know about anything other than what I just asked that person. If I wanted to know about someone's familial or personal lives, then I would flat out ask. Please don't volunteer information just because I have to sit in a 50 degree room with you for three hours! I have my own personal life to figure out. I have to study for the GRE. I have to decide which graduate school I want to go to, which PhD program I have the best chance of getting into. I have to worry about when I will be able to get a kidney transplant and whether or not the treatments for my liver will go well! I don't want to be forced to hear about a series of problems that has nothing to do with me! I am not your friend, I am only your patient, and our relationship should be handled as such! But, I must also add that I am actually tutoring one technician and another technician's son, and I have created professional (and somewhat personal) relationships with them. Then again, those relationships are based on money also! I do, however, like them, and I enjoy talking to them about anecdotal stories that occurred to us on days that we had sessions. The conversations rarely revolve around our personal lives, only the part of our lives that intersect. And I like that. I am an extremely private person (on the verge of being anti-social) and I don't like being forced into certain conversations. I really dislike being forced to deal with stupid people. I have a very low tolerance for stupidity and inane conversations.
Maybe all of this is just a lesson telling me that I have a lot more to learn about dealing with people. I am a volunteer with CASA here, and I have to deal with a wide variety of personalities, so maybe all of this is just to let me know that I do not have a propensity for dealing with certain characteristics... I don't really know at this point. But I am waiting to see what this lesson is!
posted by E. Brown @ 6:28 PM
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